Help ! Mother in Law problem !?

I keep asking my mother-in-law to NOT send us potted poinsettias anymore. My husband has asked her as well. They are lovely large plants that are very unyielding to carry around to the bathtub to water, I have a terrible green thumb and feel guilty when I can’t keep them alive. Basically, she doesn’t have a clue as to what to send us for the holidays, so, she goes with an old standby. How do I tell her politely that they are more than a nuisance than I care to put up with ? I have told her that I do prefer a bouquet arrangement and I usually send her one with some trinket with it, ie: a candle, teapot or mug. She has told me that she would appreciate it if I were to stop sending the keepsake gift, so I have and only send her the flowers. How can I get her to remember not to send a potted poinsettia ?

Help ! Mother in Law problem !?
hmmm. she may not want to listen...



but why don't you donate the plant to the local hospital?? I am sure they will welcome it. :) its not re-gifting, it is... donating.
Reply:Be honest once again and if she still doesn't get it then make sure that every time she comes they are either dead or not there because they died (you can give them away to get them out of the house).



If this is your worst mother-in-law problem though then consider yourself very lucky. I'm sure that some people could tell you some true horror stories.
Reply:Since your mother-in-law will not quit sending the poinsettias, just accept them graciously. Then once received bring them to a hospital or assisted living facility. They always appreciate flowers and plants for people who do not receive them and can brighten up their facilities.
Reply:Ditto on giving it to the hospital or something, they would enjoy it. Noone expects a potted poinsettia to last forever, they're a very seasonal flower. Send it out with your Christmas tree. Or, tell her that you LOVE her chocolate chip cookies (or whatever she can bake), and could she give you all a batch or two for Christmas instead. What a sweet gift!



If you have pets, tell your Mother-in-law that you can't have the pointsettia around because the cat/dog may eat it, and it could kill them. We love pointsettias, but we have a cat and can't have them.
Reply:Either give it away to a neighbor when it arrives or tell her that you have never cared for the poinsetta and would prefer it if she wouldn't send you them anymore and hope that she would respect your request the way you respected hers when she asked you not to send the keepsakes. If she sends them to you again then "Return to Sender". If she doesn't get the message by then you will need to have your husband tell her to stop. It is possible that she thinks her son likes them and they aren't really for you but for her son and that is why she won't stop sending them.
Reply:are you sending her something that she doesn't want? Maybe it's her way of telling you subtly that you are doing something to her that she doesn't like, either!



If not, then she could be just clueless. In that case, just tell her directly and politely that you appreciate her thoughtfulness in sending you something but that you would prefer [insert name of something cheap , convenient and easy for her to get!!! ]



Make sure that it's something cheap and easy for her to buy or get for you.



The last you want to do is to make an old woman in a body weaker than yours clamber around looking for something you want.



If she has a clear idea where she can get something and it's easy for an old body to get , she would be more likely to do so.



Oh, and try to make sure it's something that SHE would find a little bit meaningful to give , too.



E.g. if she's not the kind to give voucher, don't just tell her to give you a voucher, for instance.
Reply:If you've both told her then it's a lost cause.



This year donate the poinsettia to a church, business or homeless shelter for them to enjoy in your MIL name.



If you are inclined to do so, you can thank your MIL for her gift of the poinsettia in a note but also explain to her that since you have a "brown thumb" you have donated the plant in her name. Perhaps next year you will see a difference... if not just grin and bear it.... at least it's not a fruit cake!
Reply:It is not what she has given you but that she thought enough to send you anything at all. I know it is sometimes hard to get to know your in-laws, but it is well worth the effort if you can get along. That means that you have to be willing to overlook some things just as they have to. She either doesn't know what to get you or she can't get out to do the shopping that she needs to do. Better that you should remember this as a lesson to what gifts you get other people. Is it appropriate for them or just easy for you? Maybe it would do you good to learn how to take care of the plant and keep it alive. She might send you something else because you already have the plant. This is also a lesson for you to remember when you become a mother-in-law in the future so that you don't make the same mistakes.
Reply:Tell her. Do not accept it, send it back.
Reply:Try sending her the same back and see how she gets on with them.

Give her some ideas of what she could send you.
Reply:When I read your heading, I thought you had a problem with your mother in law. After reading your description I was surprised to learn what is going on.



I hope you dont think I am being rude, but I think that saying something to you MIL is inconsiderate. Just let the plant die and throw it away. Or even throw it away when you get it if you are that upset about it. If she comes over and inquires about the plant tell her what you told us, that you just cant keep them alive.



You already told her your preference so I dont think you should beat a dead horse.



And I will spare you the lecture about what Christmas is about and how you should be thankful for what you have.
Reply:Why not regift it to your friend or co-worker.
Reply:As soon as it arrives, give it to a neighbor.
Reply:If she keeps sending them, she doesn't care what you think. Give them away to someone who will appreciate it.
Reply:Since you are (sending) things back and forth will she ever know if you give to the postal worker as a Christmas present? If she will be by to see them make sure they are withered and pathetic looking and tell her the same thing happens every year. Maybe she will send you something different. Re-Gift them to her!
Reply:you said you've already asked more than once and so has your husband....why don't you suggest that you stop exchanging gifts altogether???....if not, then i don't think there's much you can do....if you ask some-one several times and they continue to do it anyways then there probably is nothing that's gonna keep her from sending those d@mn poinsettias......next poinsettia you get, give it to a neighbor, or your church, or a friend....
Reply:tell her to send money(^_^)
Reply:Send her a polite thank you letter that shows appreciation, and add a sweetly worded "No one in our house likes these plants, so it is nice to have a gift that I can use as a stand by if I forget someone on our list. You are very thoughtful to help us out that way."

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